Boy, That Escalated Quickly!

…I mean, that really got out of hand fast! –Ron Burgundy

So goes Tyler’s birth story.  I promise to be detailed without being graphic.  (Mostly.)

Our unknown-gender-yet-to-be-named baby was due Monday, August 4th.  No baby came on this day.  We visited the doctor, who informed us we could schedule an induction later that week if we wished.  I didn’t wish, but Eric was curious.  We waited.

The next day, Tuesday, was the day teachers reported back to school.  So, I went.  And the next day!  Wednesday I was feeling many things.  Tired, not hungry, a little out of it, and trepidation regarding the now-scheduled induction for 5am on Thursday.  I called the doctor to see if I could come in for a progress check and avoid the induction.  We went in, and I was 4 cm.  So, like any parents-to-be, we took that knowledge and went to happy hour.  When we got home around 7:30, I was still feeling tired, not hungry, and a little out of it.  With a stomach ache.  We walked around the block.  Eric made me ramen noodles (don’t judge him, it was my request).  I watched Friends reruns.

At 9:30, convinced my issues were stemming from fear of the unwanted induction, Eric called the hospital to cancel.  I kid you not, 5 minutes later, I had what I was certain was a contraction.  Finally, my first one.  Yeah!  A few minutes later, another.  Then a few more. At 10:30 they started to hurt.  But the doctor is very clear that we shouldn’t call until the contractions are 1 minute long and 5 minutes apart, so being the rule-followers we are, we didn’t call.  But Eric knew better, and he’s packing the car.

10:32.  10:38.  Holy cow, we better call.  11:08, 11:13.  We call, they say come in.  11:19, 11:24, 11:26.  By now I’m on the floor, moaning/yelling/crying.  This hurts WAY more than I anticipated.  Eric is helping me with all the tricks we learned in birthing class.  We make sure we have everything, say bye to Lilly, and get in the car.

The hospital is only 10 minutes away, but we managed to get pulled over going 60 in a 35. As the cop approaches the car, I give a good, loud moan (good timing).  He immediately realizes I’m in labor and lets us go.  We pull up to the emergency entrance, I collapse into a wheelchair, and off we go to the Center for Childbirth at Good Samaritan.

We are shown to our L&D room at 11:45 and meet our nurse, David.  David, the 50-something male nurse, will be my most intimate healthcare provider on this momentous night.  He checks me right away.  Seven cm.  I have another contraction and throw up from the pain. I ask for an epidural.  Eric double checks with me because we were going to try to go without…nope, not going to happen.  The anesthesiologist arrives two minutes later.  It works right away, I don’t even feel the very next contraction.  I have zero energy and I ask to go to sleep.

At 4:00am David checks on me.  I’m 10 cm.  But my water hasn’t broken.  I ask to go back to sleep.  David laughs and says he’ll come back soon.  A little after 5:00am, David checks again.  My water broke and I didn’t even know.  It’s go time.

David coaches Eric and I on pushing.  We practice and after only 4 practice pushes, David calls the doctor.  Apparently I’m a very efficient pusher, and that epidural is amazing because I feel nothing except exhilaration.  Dr. Burgess arrives, and I push 12 or so more times.  I get an episiotomy (“sounds like raw chicken being cut with scissors,” says Eric) and one more push.  IT’S A BOY we said, together.  8 lbs, 5.5 oz.  20 3/4″ long.  5:53am on 8/7/14.

Unbelievably amazing.  Whoa.  Wow.  We have a SON!  Eric cut the cord, and we both cried a lot.  We didn’t name him right away.  There was some negotiation for a couple of hours. Tyler Matthew Holle.  It suits him.

Our scaly-handed, squished-nose bouncing baby boy!
Our scaly-handed, squished-nose bouncing baby boy!
He has Eric's huge feet.
He has Eric’s huge feet.
Best.  Day.  Ever.
Best. Day. Ever.

I was in labor for less than 9 hours and pushed for about 15 minutes.  It was awesome. Really, it escalated quickly!  We stayed in the hospital overnight and went home Friday afternoon when Tyler was 32 hours old.  We love him.


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